Step Away From The Internet: It is supposed to be a beautiful weekend. I'm going to make every effort to enjoy it and keep myself OFF-LINE. That means I probably won't be back until early next week. So here's some clever stuff for your entertainment until my triumphant return.

• Hall of Shame #1: Lawmakers who whine about doing without their French chef. 'Scuse me while I go get a stale sandwich from the vending machine.


• Hall of Shame #2: Maxim magazine names Detroit the greatest city on earth - but only in the issues distributed to the Detroit area. This gets big 'What Were You Thinking?' But then, Maxim readers probably don't spend a lot of time on the articles.


• You're a citizen of mainland China. You've paid your dues to the post-communist system. You've played the autoritarian protocol well enough to find yourself in a position of wealth and power. What are you going to do now? I'm going to Vegas!


• Longtime reader Inne Ten Have points out that Capt. Kirk seems to be the new ruler of Liberia. Another swaggering, overbearing, tin-plated dictator with delusions of godhood for a struggling third world nation.


• I haven't read much of the Pop Cult e-zine, but I will. I am such a sucker for retro graphics like that. Definitely one of the best looking sites I've seen.


• From the How Did I Get Along Without This? file, we have Sleeping in Airports. If you are getting on a plane, take a look at the write ups for the airports you'll be visiting. It may get you a decent nights sleep.