Thursday, February 19, 2004

Axis of Evil, Food Service Division: The Atlantic has posted excerpts from the reminiscences of a Japanese sushi chef who spent nearly 13 years as Kim Jong Il's personal chef. The guy is obviously not much for high prose, but it only adds to the surrealism of his memories of that time. He unwisely whomps the maximum moonbat in a jet ski race...
At that moment I thought maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to win, and I regretted it a bit. But he had said it was a serious race, so I decided I wasn't wrong in winning. Until then nobody else had ever won a contest against Kim Jong Il.

...but fortunately escapes unflayed:

A month later he once again challenged me to a race. However, this time at the starting line I was surprised to see that he had traded his old Jet Ski for a much larger one. With a different engine capacity there was no way I could win.

The worst was yet to come:

The liquor cellar also had a karaoke set, a piano, and a round table that could seat fifteen or sixteen people. There, I remember, we often sang together the Japanese song "The Bride in Seto."

I knew it. I've always suspected karaoke would only appeal to the sadistic mind of a freaky, paranoid, bloodthirsty dictator. Had to be.

The wack-job almost makes the Democratic candidates seem sane and sober. Almost. I'm hoping for a 2 hour special on Food TV.