Football Picks - Week 12: The new offical name for the Patriots is the Evil Minions, or Minions for short. As mentioned above, the Falcons QB will be reffered to as Rhymes with Sick - sort of like an Indian name or something. With QBs dropping like passes to the Lions receivers, this was a tough week. Troy Aikman is the new Waldo.

• Minnesota +7.5 at New England Evil Minions cover. I think the Minions want to beat up on someone. Their demonic deity owes them.


• Tennessee -2 at Baltimore Titans cover. The Ravens are not as much better than everyone thinks as I thought they were. Re-read that. It makes sense.


• Atlanta -3.5 at Carolina Falcons cover. How long before Rhymes with Sick gets tossed on the burgeoning QB rubble heap? It ain't gonna be the Panthers that do it.


• Detroit +5 at Chicago Bears cover. This is one of the very few times you will see Chicago favored this season. Just for the record, this does NOT offcially make Chicago my new sleeper. It's just that they are playing the Lions.


• Jacksonville -2.5 at Dallas Jags cover. Even a mediocre victory would cover that spread. The Cowboys have already called it a season.


• San Diego +3 at Miami Chargers beat the spread. Sorry to the Fins, but one victory does not make you what you were. Cruel fate: I keep picking against the Fins - favorite team - and betting with the team of Rhymes with Sick. At least no one can accuse me of betting my heart instead of my head.


• Cleveland +6 at New Orleans Browns beat the spread. I'm going out on a limb, but the Saints looked completely listless in their loss to Atlanta. Although that was only the second bad game they played all year, I'm rolling the dice and guessing they are running out of steam. At least running out of enough steam to win by a touchdown.


• Buffalo +3 at New York Jets Bills beat the spread. Two very evenly matched teams. I'm not ready to go full force into beleiving the Jets are for real.


• Cincinnati +10.5 at Pittsburgh Steelers cover. They could have fired-up for this game with cries of "Win One For Tommy!" but they don't have to. It's the Bengals. Kind of a shame for the Steelers that it worked out this way. They waste their once-a-season injured collegue inspriation since science is on their side. Also bad for Kordell Stewart since he really needs to prove himself, and slaughtering the Bengals proves nothing. How much you wanna bet that if Kordell makes a hash of this, the Steelers start considering Troy Aikman. (For the record, I hate going with the favorite on a big spread.)


• Green Bay +3 at Tampa Bay Cheeseheads beat the spread. A lot on the line here: a leg up on home field advantage in the playoffs; the Cheese can clinch if they win and Minnesota loses (I think). I really have no idea what's going to happen. I think the Cheese are the better team, but they are away and the Tampa defense matches up well against them. My hopes are riding on the 3-point head start.


• Kansas City -3.5 at Seattle Chiefs cover. All Seattle has left to prove is that it was all about Brett Favererer after all.


• Oakland -8.5 at Arizona Seniors cover. I'll be suprised if the Seniors can't pretty much do whatever they want, however they want to do it. It's a fat spread, I hope they want to cover it.


• St. Louis -5 at Washington Rams cover. The Potatoes were showing some promise but in his inexorible quest to screw things up, Spurrier decided it was time to mess with the QB again. Has he thought of calling Troy Aikman? Of course, the Rams QB situation isn't without question either. But with Marshall Faulk back (probably) they should win be able to win by a TD.


• New York Giants -5.5 at Houston Giants cover. This should become the fourth win in a row for the Giants. Schroedinger's cat may have escaped.


• Indianapolis +6.5 at Denver Colts beat the spread. A tough call with the Broncos at home. Denver is the one team that lost a QB last week and probably won't feel much adverse effect. But the Colts are really hitting stride, so I'll go with the 6.5 point bonus and hope my sleeper isn't fully awake yet.


• Philadelphia +7 at San Francisco 49ers cover. This would have been tough for the Eagles even with McNabb. For that matter, this would be tough for the Eagles with Troy Aikman.