Wednesday, October 30, 2002

Football Results: After all my whining, things didn't turn out as bad as they could have.
  • Oakland -3 at KC: Pick: Chiefs. A Winner! KC really is better than their record.

  • Chicago +1 at Minnesota: Pick Bears. Wrong! Randy Moss has spent the better part of the season dropping passes. Last week Duante Culepepper seemed just as happy to throw interceptions and get the game over with. Sure enough, they wait for me to pick against them to play like they were supposed to all season.

  • Atlanta +4 at New Orleans: Pick Saints. Wrong! I'm sick of Michael Vick. There I said it. Maybe I'll register I hate how everyone thinks he's God's gift to whatever. I hate how he goes out of the way to say exactly the proper and respectful thing, when it's completely obvious that it's not even remotely what he's thinking. Yeah I know none of 'em mean it but he obviously doesn't mean it. He needs to go down. I hope some vindictive, mean spirited defensive end clotheslines him. He needs to be slammed to the point where the facade drops and he chokes and folds in a game and goes nuts toward the press afterwards. Funny it usually takes me a long time to get all contrarian with the latest version of Superman, but not this time.

  • Cleveland +3 at NY Jets: Pick Jets. Wrong! I really had no idea on this one. It was fifty-fifty. So 'I don't care' is the story I'm sticking to.

  • Pittsburgh -2.5 at Baltimore: Pick Steelers. A Winner! The Steelers, with a storybook backup QB and a backup running back who looks like he could start for just about any team in the league, trounce their division co-leaders. Pittsburgh is righteously set up for the rest of the season.

  • Detroit +7 at Buffalo: Pick Bills. Push! Next week I'll find half-point lines so this won't happen.

  • Tampa Bay -7.5 at Carolina: Pick Bucs. Wrong! I was right that Carolina would have trouble scoring at all. I just didn't realize Tampa Bay had such an atrocious offense. Lesson: Never pick a lame to beat a spread more than 3 points.

  • Tennessee -5.5 at Cincinnati: Pick Titans. A Winner! Like I said, it is scientific fact that any team can beat Cincinnati by as much as they want. Which is why, when the Cincy running back had a great shot at the winning touchdown late in the game, he tripped over his own blocker and got stuffed. It was all in the name of science.

  • Seattle +2.5 at Dallas: Pick Cowboys. Wrong! Emmitt plays over his head as expected. Seahawks QB goes down. Dallas should have been a shoo-in. Stupid Cowboys.

  • Arizona +8 at San Francisco: Pick 49ers. A Winner! Just as expected. Nothing to see here. Move along.

  • Denver +3 at New England: Pick Broncos. A Winner! Yeah, the NFL is starting to get past the early season weirdness and pre-season expectations are starting to be realized. Everyone discounted the Pats as a fluke and it looks like it was just a matter of time.

  • Houston +10.5 at Jacksonville: Pick Texans. A Winner! If it weren't for an offensive line that turns David Carr into a human blocking dummy, the Texans would be a solidly mediocre team.

  • Indianapolis at Washington (pick 'em): Pick Colts. Wrong! The big question is will Spurrier find a way to change QBs despite the victory.

  • NY Giants +7 at Philadelphia: Pick Eagles. A Winner! The Giants played with verve and fire...about every 10th play. When Donovan McNabb made a long touchdown run to close out a 99-yard drive, the Giants just kind of jogged along and watched. Check out the replay, you'll see what I mean.
Best comeback of the week award goes to yours truly. Early in the day it looked like a bloodbath, but I came through to end up 7-6-1. One very small cheer for me. Next week's picks coming soon.