Sunday, January 30, 2005

A New Paris Hilton?: Anna Benson, former stripper and wife of New York Mets pitcher Kris Benson, appears to be on the Paris Hilton career track.

She first came to fame through an appearance on Howard Stern wherein she declared that if her husband ever cheated on her, she would proceed to work her way through servicing his entire roster of teammates (no mention of the coaching staff, management or hot dog vendors) as a form of vengeance. The Mets have had some success with free agent signings this year, although the connection is speculative.

She subsequently claimed she was only kidding, stating:
I've been saying that comment for about six years now. We couldn't believe it turned into such a big deal. We laughed it up. There's no way I would touch some of those guys with a 10-foot pole. I don't care what Kris did. Some of them are disgusting.

Way to save the situation, Anna!

In the midst of all this, she has been pitching a reality series based on her home life as the wife a major league ballplayer. It's no Simple Life, but it's a start.

Most recently, she was seen having a diva moment over not being provided VIP status at a Ludacris concert at the Sundance Film Festival. Her tenacity paid off however:

Despite the valiant efforts of the folks at the door to enforce status discipline, Benson ended up in the VIP area anyway, along with Rocco DiSpirito, Carmen Electra and Snoop Dogg's sidekick, Bishop Don Magic Juan [and, presumably, Mohammed, Jugdish, Sidney, and Clayton].

Still, in this case, I'm on Anna's side. She's just trying to get the same deferential respect that any wife of a pitcher with a career 4.28 ERA and a 47-53 record deserves.

What's the next step for Anna? Clearly, a home made porn video. It could be with hubby Kris or one or more of his (non-disgusting) teammates. But I'm hoping she goes for a teammate's wife. Specifically teammate Mike Piazza's wife, ex-playmate and Baywatch babe, Alicia Richter. But that's just me.

So here's wishing Anna the best of luck in her pursuit of fame without demonstrable talent. You reach for that star, girl. And when we see a South Park episode entitled "Not Another Stupid Spoiled Whore", we'll know you made it.