My Baloney Has A First Name: I suppose I should comment on the Oscars, but it's difficult since I didn't watch the show, didn't see any of the films and don't really give a wombat's left gonad about the winners and losers.

However, from the reports in the papers, it is plain to see that Jack Nicholson is the wisest man in Hollywood. He kept his shades on throughout the evening, and considering Michael Moore attempted to pronounce the word 'fictitious' about fourteen times, Jack was the only one in the audience who didn't need to rush to the bathroom to flush the spittle from his eyes.