A Friend Indeed: Guidelines for friendship, courtesy of The Legendary KK:

Friend,

• When you are sad,... I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.


• When you are blue,... I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.


• When you smile,... I'll know you finally got laid.


• When you are scared,... I will rag you about it every chance I get.


• When you are worried,... I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.


• When you are confused,... I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.


• When you are sick, ... stay away from me until you're well again. I don't want whatever you have.


• When you fall,... I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath, I pledge 'till the end. Why you may ask? Because you're my friend!

P.S. A friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body.