Life Imitates Satire: Clearly the most absurd occurrence of late has been the Miss World riots - just try to think about that phrase and not shake your head in disbelief: Miss World riots.
The pageant decides that a hellhole like Nigeria, where Muslims treat women like dogs, is an appropriate place for the contest because, in the finest tradition of multiculturalism, we should respect their cultural right to misogyny.
Several contestants protest, and some wisely decide it's not worth it, naivete takes the day and the contest continues.
A Nigerian journalist, while commenting on the contest, says something about how the Prophet Mohammed would have wanted these women in his harem - or whatever it is called to make it Islamically correct.
In truth, that betrays a deep ignorance of beautiful women. Clue about beautiful women: They tend to shun smelly, ill-groomed, religious zealots who berate them for not wearing black from head to toe, when everyone knows that it's all about hip-huggers, cute little capris, and tarty tank tops with sparkly designs. And 400 pairs of painfully ill-fitting shoes.
Never, I mean never - even with a childhood image of women borne of cheesy, Austin Powers-esque retro spy flicks - even in the most misguided moments of hormonally enraged adolescence - have I ever been so thoroughly ignorant of women as the Islamicists are. These guys are like the He-Man Woman Hater's Club with automatic weapons.
So the Muslims start slaughtering Christians, or anyone who looks like a Christian, or anyone who isn't helping them slaughter Christians. A Fatwa - which sounds like a Star Wars character - is declared against the journalist who made the comments.
Meanwhile, the Canadian Miss World delegate gets all, like, whatever and says "I'm out-ee," and hops a plane home. The pageant summarily disqualifies her for leaving, and then a couple of days later, decides to take the whole thing "out-ee" and decamps for London, where the pageant officials blame the media for the whole thing rather than the ass-headed stupidity of the troglodyte Nigerian Muslims.
