Saturday, December 14, 2002

Hasselling Hasselhoff: Oh my! This is one of the funniest things I've ever run across. You have to read the reviews of David Hasselhoff's Best Of CD at Amazon. Some choice quotes:
The thought of missing out on David Hasselhuffer's melodic voice during those short car trips to my therapist have caused me to purchase two of these delicious CDs.

Where else, on a single CD could you find the demented gruntings of a jeaned and jacketed 80's throwback who talks to his car?

Just when you though that the greatest hits of John Tesh and Wiliam Shatner, could not be out done, Hasselhoff pulls this miracle out.

What really makes David Hasselhoff stand apart from his contemporaries is his magnificent voice. Some critics have compared his resounding tenor to that of Mario Lanza or Johnny Hartman, but I would compare it more to a wounded jackal getting whipped by a screaming pornfilm fluffer.

"Everybody Sunshine" is the clarion call that awakes us from our nihilistic ideals and existential slumber. As it washes into "I Believe" you can't help knowing what is now right and wrong and yearn for the times when "Knightrider" taught us that the love between man and a mechanical object was not morally wrong but a beautiful and natural thing to behold.
There's like 40 pages of reviews like that. I'm still laughing.