At some time in the future I may relate the entire story of my termination. In short, after 28 years my position is effectively being moved overseas. I will say that, while my emotions run the gamut and I certainly disagree with the decision, I have to acknowledge that they had the right to make it. (Also, as a global, multinational company headquartered outside the U.S., I can't really fault them for not prioritizing U.S. jobs.) I am not the first person in history to be laid off, and like everyone else in history my emotional response is to feel as though it's unfair, but I also know I'll get past my emotions.
And, although I am still in the negative stage emotionally, the way it was done was quite reasonable. I have been given 9 months warning before my last day and I have a fairly generous severance package. So I am under no great duress. The fact is, at my age (one month shy of 61), there is a question of how long I had to go anyway.
Still the question remains, what do I do now?
One possibility is to outright retire. I could almost certainly get a good price for my house. My 401k is doing well. My IRA is doing well. And if I literally didn't take a job I would start my Social Security payments before my severance ran out. It wouldn't be a cushy life, but I wouldn't be stressed financially. Would I be bored? Maybe. I would spend time writing and working out and maybe a road trip here and there. Often over the course of my life there have been times I have said to myself that's all I really want to do. Maybe I should put my money, or lack thereof, where my mouth is.
Still, I put a certain amount of stock in conventional wisdom, and conventional wisdom says if you don't work, you wither, and while it sounds good to have a life of undirected time, you end up planning your day around your 4:30 early bird buffet special. I also fear that my penchant for detachment would turn me into something of a hermit or possibly put me in some state of depression. But maybe it wouldn't. I have intentionally kept work out of my social life (such as it is) for years so maybe I would just find myself with a lot more time to focus on things I do by choice. And truth is, writing is work. Really.
Alternative number 2 is to hop back into the job market. I think I could get a comparable position and perhaps an even better wage. With my short time frame, I can take risks on unproven companies. I might even find enthusiasm again. I am reminded of the movie Up in the Air where the layed off folks are interviewed later and decide losing their job was a blessing after all. And the fact is, if I try it and it doesn't work out, I can then just retire.
A 3rd option would be a compromise. An undemanding job -- something to "keep me busy" and keep me engaged with the world. This compromise brings to mind 30 hour per week part-time jobs to maintain health insurance. I'm not there yet. But there are other flavors of this -- sitting on community or charity advisory boards, investing with folks starting small businesses, etc. -- that could be promising.
The big problem I have is the same problem I have had all my life. I don't know what I want. (I'm beginning to realize that every problem I have is a problem I have had all my life, but that's another rant.) At some point I will have to pick a direction and go. It would be nice if, for once, I did that with a solid purpose in mind rather than just because I had to pick something.
Geez, I just needed 3 or 4 more years…
