Tuesday, January 08, 2013

The Month That Was - December 2012

The Month That Was - December 2012: And so we pitch the old calendar in the trash again. I'm not sure what to think about 2012. It offers me no warm feelings to recall, yet I know it was filled with many, many good times. I got to spend time with beloved friends. I got traveling done. Made fitful progress on the house. I'm still healthy, wealthy, and wise. Well, I'm one of those three anyway.

Yet I'm filled with the sense that I didn't accomplish anything. And that is true for the most part. My latest writing project stalled for a big part of the year. It's back on track and close to hitting Kindle (this year for sure). I get that done, I'll feel better that my writing efforts have not dropped dead completely. I also have the germ of an idea for a mystery novel that I can't seem to get together in my head. I need to get back to doing what I used to do: grab a rollerball pen and yellow legal pad and start writing crap that I can re-write into non-crap.

Real estate has also vexed me. Although I remain quite happy with my house, every time I turn around I see projects and maintenance. Nothing out of the ordinary, but I had the naive idea in my head that after two years, it would be "done". I need to re-jigger my expectations to five years. Meanwhile I tried renting out my old condo only to discover that I am not a very good landlord. That is to say, I am not a skilled landlord, not that I was bad to my tenant. In any event, the tenant has moved on and the condo is going on the market.

And as far as travel -- I got out and about and did some cool things, but I didn't do any NEW things. That's a key distinction.

These are things the internet kiddies call "First World Problems". In my day we just said, "I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden." Look, there is your intellectual outlook, then your emotional one. Intellectually I know there are few people in the world luckier than I am. Whatever hardship or disappointments I may have faced in life, I was born with the tools to deal with them. I also have demonstrated the capacity to capitalize on enough of my opportunities and make consistently sound enough decisions to not self-destruct (so far) - those virtues I like to think of as earned, but who knows? They may be luck also.

But the emotional side doesn't bother to weigh pluses and minuses. I am convinced that in other than extreme circumstances, your state of contentedness and happiness is a fact of birth not a reaction to the realities around you. It is simply a personality trait: God, or DNA, given. In my case, I am never able to accept and appreciate the state of the moment. I can't help but be dominated by the tasks awaiting my attention. Accomplishments are in the past as soon as they are accomplished. There is always more that needs to be done.
Nuke Laloosh: Can't you let me enjoy the moment?
Crash Davis: The moment's over.
So I guess 2012 was a year like any other year -- many good moments, but the moments are over and there are miles to go before I sleep. Happy New Year.

[Books] The Chief Inspector Chen Mysteries
[Music] Dwarves, Uncrushed
[Rant, Tech] OMG Where Are The Pics