Stupefaction: So Joe Millionaire came to an end the other night, and it's all anybody's talking about. Annoying, since, though I never watched a single episode, I feel pretty safe in assuming it was stupefying. That Giant Sucking Sound you hear is the average IQ of Americans going down the toilet.

Now a lot is being made of the fact that the bimbo accepted the proposal despite finding out he is actually poor. I'm going out a limb, but I'm guessing she figured that after the show aired and he had all the publicity in Fox can buy, he would get a big contract for posing in his undies, a pile of cash for posing in less for Playgirl, and some extra tip money for miscellaneous public appearances and bit parts in made-for-cable movies. Same for her (except probably Playboy instead).

Then a few years down the road when she's divorced and sitting around sipping cosmopolitans with her divorced girlfriends, the conversation will turn to what went wrong with their marriages and the answer will invariably be, "I got married for the wrong reason." She'll be the queen of that circle.

So what's next? How about a show wherein exhibitionist losers are wed based on who the viewing public thinks would match up best. I want you to pay close attention to what I say next.

DO NOT WATCH THIS SHOW. IT WILL MAKE YOU RETARDED. NO MATTER HOW YOU TRY TO AVOID IT - TELL YOURSELF YOU DON'T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY, DO HOUSEWORK WHILE IT'S ON - BY THE END OF THE SERIES YOU WILL BE A RETARD.

Don't say I didn't warn you.