Monday, January 20, 2003

Say What?: A couple of pages I found courtesy of Bill Simmons, the ESPN Page 2 Sports Guy, inventor of the Unintentional Comedy Scale, and writer for Jimmy Kimmel's new talk show.

First, a home page for Drobnjak Manjaks, center for the Seattle Supersonics. Words simply cannot do this page justice. It's mostly made of Flash animations, but they are small and quick to download. And be sure you are somewhere where you can listen to the narration. Your reward for doing so will be absolutely gut-busting unintentional comedy. Don't miss Advice for Children, and be sure to click on "This blob shape is my country. Now you know."

Second, Greg Hall, sports columnist for the Platte County Landmark (Missouri) has developed an intriguing method for covering sports. He just reproduces quotes and comments on them. Simple, original, and very effective, it seems to me. Anyway, he collected some quotes from a former Chiefs defenseman turned annoucer. It is a cruel irony to say they speak for themselves.
Neil Smith’s comments made during his appearances on Channel 5 for their pre- and postgame shows this past season resulted in a new phenomenon here in the land of OTC that I dubbed "Neilbonics." If Neilbonics were a Broadway show, it would be sold out for the next year. That is how popular the former Chiefs’ defensive end’s verbiage was to those who frequently read this column. Here is a heaping helping of some of Neil’s more "perceptional" quotes and my comments as they originally appeared.
  • Actually this guy (Troy Brown) had a perceptional year today. ... I think he went 10-for-10 or 12-for12. ... His completion percentage was great. I love the way he was catching the ball.

  • You know why? I think why. This is the reason why. Because I think what New England did today, they axe-ually they just everything you could probably the reverse they tried to do all kind of trick plays.

  • Here’s what I think is going to happen. The coach, Dick Vermeil, is going to overlook everything and there will be some changes here (on the defense). I think what’s going to happen is that they are going to have to putting some players and benching them.

  • They always come through because they always says what they have to mean.

  • Rod Smith actually did have a great game but what when he did come back and redeemed himself early he dropped the football.

  • Only thing he do is he go along the line of scrimmage and no one untouched him.
That's just the tip of the iceberg. Go here, and check out the entries for 1/6/03.