Friday, October 05, 2018

[Rant] Dave the Builder

I am decidedly not handy. This is quite clear to me. Oh I can get some basic stuff done -- replace a ceiling fan or light fixture, change the air filters in my car (you'd be surprised how much that saves you), paint a bedroom, etc. -- but if something goes awry all bets are off. You know how you can be following a youtube how-to video which tells you to remove a ramastat with an adjustable whichamacallit, except your whichamacallit doesn't fit and the ramastat is actually a thingamajig? At that point I'm toast. Improvised handiness is beyond me. (This is especially true of bike maintenance, it turns out.) So I was really quite proud of myself for building a catio. That's not a typo -- a catio.

My house abuts a huge swath of protected wetlands. This has its pluses and minuses. It affords me privacy and nice view out my back window. I also get an abundance of wildlife. Deer, sometimes in groups of eight or ten, traipse through my backyard (although less so now that I've learned to plant deer-resistant flowers), there is a troupe of wild turkeys that parade about, bunnies abound, squirrels and chipmunks in uncountable numbers, racoons, fox, and even coyotes -- it's like Wild Kingdom back there.

Currently I have a houseguest that is the owner of a siamese cat. Needless to say, the cat likes to go outside. I don't know why. Given the size of my house, she has run of an area that is likely not much smaller than the relative territory of a Bengal tiger. Still, one can't dump the cat out the back door because there is no way a siamese cat that will look a live mouse in the face walk away to get ear scratches would last more than five minutes out in the wilds behind my house.

The best option was to take the cat out on my deck (which is elevated to second story level) but the cat would make a beeline for certain death if not restrained. There was only one solution. I needed to build an enclosure so the cat could be left to wander the deck but not escape.

At this point you are no doubt smirking and saying "What could possibly go wrong?" Well, I'll tell you: Nothing. I bought some lumber and chicken wire, measured everything ten times before I cut. Bought a couple of better quality tools. Thought about everything -- sometimes for days -- before I took action, but I completed the catio. It is ugly, but can easily be disassembled and removed in 15-20 minutes. There are things I would have done differently, but still, I did it without losing any fingers or putting out an eye. To any skilled craftsman, I'm sure it would be a source of comedy. But it works, and I did it myself.

It was a good lesson to (re)learn. Trying something new, without fearing probable failure is always rewarding. If there is one thing I could change about myself it would be to not be so afraid to fail. It would be convenient to blame this on my childhood environment, where any mistakes opened you to shame and derision, but I'm 58 and my window for blaming things on my childhood closed decades ago. I have to keep doing things like this -- to make myself keep doing things like this. It's even more important as I age and get more and more comfortable with those limitations I discussed above. As they ask in Tough Mudder, "When was the last time you did something for the first time?"

For now, I'm just going to keep doing the little projects and maybe next summer, if my houseguest is still here, I'll build a bigger, better catio. Actually, my next goal should be taking on a bike upgrade over the winter without screwing it up so royally I have to call in a professional. When you see me on HGTV, you'll know I've arrived.

But first I have to go make sure my health insurance covers accidental dismemberment.