Thursday, September 23, 2004

Football Picks -- Week 3: 4-1 last week, making me 7-2 for the year and compelling me to continue inquiries as to the identity of your daddy.

A brief Mea Culpa from last week. I referred to Carson Palmer as a rookie. This is, in fact his second year, but he didn’t take a single snap last year. Chances are you would have just figured I was fake but accurate, but I would hate to be spoken of in the same breath as Dan Rather, so there you are.

Peter King had an update on Ricky Williams' whereabouts. He's currently camping next to a bay somewhere in Australia. I've never been one for sleeping on the ground, but hey, whatever pitches your tent. Today is the first day of the rest of your life, Ricky. And considering the Dolphins are trying to retrieve in excess of 8 million in signing bonuses from you, you may take some solace in the accuracy of that.

  • Pittsburgh +1.5 at Miami -- Like a highly agitated schizoid, I keep repeating the same thing over and over: The Fins are not as bad as everybody thinks. Please don't tell Nurse Ratchett.

  • Philly -4.5 at Detroit -- Detroit is 2-0 with victories (cynics would say surprising victories) over the dubious Chicago Bears and the less than mediocre Houston Texans. Philly is the cream of the NFC for the moment and they dominated the Vikings last week, TO's sham TD notwithstanding. Harrington has not faced a defensive line like this. Even at home, I can’t pick the Lions.

  • San Fran +10.5 at Seattle -- 10.5 is a lot of points to give. Scenario: Seattle up by 17, then end of game comes and SF is tossing up prayers in its last few plays against a bunch of Seahawk third-stringers. They get the TD. Who cares, says Seattle, they still need two scores in less than a minute, right? Except the guy who puts cash down on Seattle being at least 11 points better gets reamed. But they are at least 11 points better, so what can you do except throw down and hope those third stringers have some pride.

  • Dallas +2.5 at Washington -- The 'Skins coughed up turnovers like meningital phlegm last week. (Sorry, that didn’t really work, did it?) They won’t do that again, but there is just no way they are all that good -- Gibbs or no. On the other hand, the Cowboys have Vinny Testaverde who has a stupefying ability to not quite win football games. But Parcells has had more time with his clowns than Gibbs has had with his, so I'll take Dallas and the points.